Changes

Changing ones life is not all that easy.  I feel I've been stuck in certain places (all of my own making) but would really love to get out and move on once more.  I haven't been working on any crafts, cross stitch in particular, nor have I been writing or reading.  I do love all of these and yet I seem to have a hard time getting back to them.  After three years one would think I would still be stuck in a rut here, but I am.  I know this is only March, and we have April to get through, but then comes May and that's not an easy one for me.  I keep feeling it's going to jump up at me rather soon.  I deal, as always, with anything I get hit with in life, but losing a spouse seems to be something beyond the realm of understanding.  Every day I feel the lose, still.  Every day still has its hard moments of reality.  All too often anymore I seem to find things, games mainly, to play to allow myself to leave the world of reality behind.  Makes the days go faster I guess.

Problem with time moving faster if I don't have to think about the emptiness is that I truly don't accomplish anything and I'm getting to the point of feeling that too.  I want to accomplish some things, to say to myself, see I can do that and finish it and then sit back and enjoy the finished product.  Hell, I can't even do my blogs on a regular basis.  Sad, sad, sad.  But I never feel like I'm moping, just sliding through life with nothing to show for my time here.

Time to pull the bootstraps up and get back to the stuff I love to do.

Hair, skin and nails

I've been taking fish oil for over a year.  Now I'm adding 3 other vitamins to that one item list.  My nails have been breaking a lot in the past year and now I have a bit of hair loss.  The hair loss seems to be coming out from the same spot every time I wash it, and overall it feels and looks thinner to me.  One thing I've never complained about was having thick hair.  Loved it and don't want to lose anymore if I can help it.  So, adding some Biotin, which seems to have some pretty good reviews by others who have used it, and also vitamin C and E.  Couldn't find any A in the small store where I picked these up so will wait until I hit a larger store.

(this is my ongoing record so I know when I started these other vitamins)

Old beginning

Change of plans for Camp NaNo.  Dug around in my files today and decided I might be better off picking some novels I started long ago and have more words.  I now have 3 to work on.  The oldest isn't really calling me but it does have the most words.  The other two I might be more easy to dig into.  I'm going to try to get the oldest one finished, then decide which of the other two to get back to.  I may or may not be able to get all three finished but at least they all give me something to start with and an inkling of where I wanted to go with them.


Since the first day is drawing ever near I think this will be the best option for me at this time.  Hopefully I can come up with something new and interesting for November.

Digging Around for Camp NaNo

Checked some old stuff I had started but mostly had not written all that much.  Only one had 12k+ but all the rest a lot less.  That's okay, was interesting to look at them and see what might catch my attention enough to maybe start working on.  Of course one of the space operas won out and it's probably much newer than most of them.  That's fine too.  And, as always I have no idea where this was going and most likely didn't have much in my head when I wrote it.

I'm not sure if it's strange or not, but this was also the only one that didn't have a title.  Had to scurry around in my head to come up with something if only a working title.  Word Web to the rescue for not the first time in the years and years I've had it.  So, with a little help from that and then a quick search online I now have Hole-and-Corner in Space.  It means cloak-and-dagger, hush-hush, undercover, underground, secret, and a few more.

I may see if I can get some notes or some sort of outline worked out before next month.  Might just dig around more too and see what else I can find.  Haven't looked at the external hard drive yet, some little nugget might be hiding in there.  Who knows?

Camp August NaNo

I have 8 days to decide if I want to try  NaNo Camp August

If I do I'll have to be a rebel, which I've never done before.  I have enough unfinished projects to choose from and could probably work on more than one to the finish line of the novels.  I want to get excited about NaNoWriMo in November like I used to be.  I really miss that feeling.


I feel like my creative well is still dry, but I also know that if I just start writing that could easily prime the pump and get something new flowing. I might go set up the laptop on the table, gather some writing stuff to add to the setting and see if that helps get me motivated in any way.


As always, time will tell.

Bombed

Camp NaNo didn't pan out for me and NaNo in November just didn't happen.  Haven't written a word in I don't know how long.  Need inspiration, which really shouldn't have to wait for and make my own, need a good character to get into, again should make my own.  All easy to say just not as simple to do for me yet. Not sure the well is primed at all at this point.  Maybe another excuse because I know how to prime a pump - not getting any water then you give it some to get it going.  I should apply the same to writing.  Lots of playing but not with characters or made up worlds.  Lots of procrastinating which I'm very, very good at doing.

Camp NaNo Day 3

Have not yet caught up to the number of words I should have but not going to worry about it.  Also, just found out yesterday one of my cousins passed away.  Not sure what today will bring but probably some words written later, but most likely not very many.

First day at Camp NaNo

Not off to a good start, but I'm not worried.  I'm going into this with as much of a laid-back feeling as I can.  Nothing at all going on today so maybe I'll get more words down and make up for yesterdays procrastination.  Tomorrow's time will be taken up mostly but will still have some hours to myself to write - it will be a good day with family, as small as that has become.

Changes in Life

Been a very long time since I've been here and to be honest I found it a bit hard to remember my way to my own blog.  Sad, I know.  But, given the circumstances I am going to forgive myself.  Losing one's spouse is a hard and difficult road to traverse.  It's been a little over a year now but it hasn't lessened the pain a whole lot - some but not all.  Time, I know is what I have to wait for before it gets better.  Some days are better but lately not so much and have found myself in a depression.  Enter Camp NaNoWriMo and hopefully it will give me the boost I seem to need at this point.  I believe I have to get back to doing the things I used to do to get past this large hump in the road.  Will it heal the pain?  No, but it might just be the thing to get me going again.


This begins at midnight tonight and I have nothing.  Maybe a name.  Maybe.  Not even sure about that though.  I am thinking along the lines of space opera since that was the genre I was having fun with before the world dropped away.


I also think I need to remember how to get back here again. :)

Long time

Had to get the blow torch out to clean this place.  Poor thing has been neglected for over a year now.  Guess I never have much to talk about.

Now it's time for NaNo once again.  Many are gearing up for the big 30 day push to reach their goals.  Mine is to write more than I did last year, but I'm thinking maybe I need a more word set goal.  100,00 words keeps spinning in my head.  I have notes, a bit of writing I started which will be put into notes for the outline so I can begin anew.  A few characters, some I think are in what I had written last year at some point so will dig that out and go through to grab what I need.

If I don't drag my heels I'll pull out my interview character sheets (have about 3 different kinds) and do some of those.  It's interesting to sometimes do the one where you interview a character but you are asking him/her questions about the other one.  Puts a new light on personalities, IMO.

Made my first NaNo calendar yesterday and am working on the second one today.  Lots of trial and error but I'll get there sooner or later.  Once I decide which background I want for myself I'm thinking of making a special size to print out and put on my cork board.  Once I get going I'll really need to figure out what word count I'm going for this year, although, I could do a couple different word counts, start with the smaller one and see if I write enough to move to the larger count.

Moving Forward

So many novels started and so many wanting to be worked on and finished. How to choose which one to pull up and start writing? I'll pop a few of them up to look at but each wants more words added, so that idea doesn't work and in the end none get what they are crying out for.

I keep telling myself to pick one, then stick with it until the end and after that move to the next, but it isn't working. At least tonight wasn't a total bust. 2,514 words done, not good words but they're on the page. I did get the characters to move at least, so they aren't standing still. But, I did leave them with one standing and one sitting.

As I was finishing that goal for tonight a thought slithered through my head. Where the hell is Stella? Damn, she isn't even in this story, nor is she a main character. I do love her though. She's feisty, opinionated and loyal to a fault, well, once she's given another character 100% loyalty, and she'll never fail them no matter how bad it gets. Lusty Stella, she's fun to write, yet she knows her role and doesn't try to take over the story in any way, so she remains a secondary character even if an outspoken one. I wrote on that novel last week and I remember wonder then where she was, then it dawned on me that the part I was in is suppose to be inserted earlier in the story and she hasn't shown up yet. A bit of a downer for me at that time. Problem is, I really do have to finish this part and figure out where to paste it in before I can get back to where Stella and the others. Poor woman, even took a hit in the arm, but not a serious one.

Then there are the other novels that creep into my head and want a bit more written. If it was only one at a time it'd be much easier, but doesn't seem to happen that way.

If that wasn't enough, I have about three others that I have no idea what the damn story is suppose to be, but I do have the main characters and I'm quite fond of them. They've been patient, I'll give them that. They only whisper to me every now and then, so much better than characters screaming to have their story told.

A few are farther down the ladder, bottom rung to be exact. Not a peep out of those characters in forever. I'm not sure if they are waiting or have given up on me. I guess if they don't expect their story to be told they might take on roles in other ones some day.

At least I did get words on the page today, so that's something, regardless of the fact that too many times I felt I was forcing them. Something to work with in the future, is what I tell myself and that lets me keep moving forward.

All I have left to say is: This damn white background is burning my eyes!

Okay one more thing: Writing my stories on a black background has been a gift!

Writing & Rant (not related or sort of)

Rant first.

Seriously, if you're on a writing email list, which by the way has a membership of 2000+, please stop jabbering about your hormones and pregnancy sickness. I'm sorry but that's not why I joined; my reasons were to read about the writing process, how others are doing, good things that happen to them, the market - get the picture. Yes, I know about the hormone thing, been there, done that. Yes, I know about getting sick when pregnant, been there, done that, three times to be exact. Two or three members start going back and forth about this crap like their the only ones on some private list, well you're not. To be upfront, I have no problem with conversations like that at all, this just isn't the place to do it. And, I'm sure all the males on the list are having a ball. Not. So, please, go form your own email list and talk about all that stuff to your hearts content.

The fact that the owner seems to ignore these types of conversations that crop up from time to time irritates the hell out of me. Most he'll do is say something if others put up enough of a bitch about it. Sorry, guy, but that doesn't make you a very good owner/moderator. It's a shame you never want to make one or two other members moderators, but that's come up in the past and you declined. And, yes, I know a bit about your history, so have a pretty good idea why you chose to run it alone.
/rant

So, hanging around the NaNo forum board lately and it's nice to see some new people there getting ready for November. And some who are doing a few off season NaNos. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do, while working on two other projects that were started and now I'd like to get finished. Would love to have a more detailed outline than I've ever attempted before, not that I've done all that many.

Downloaded Liquid Story Binder last week (free for one day) and I keep looking and playing with that from time to time, but mostly end up feeling lost. I do think it would work quite well with the Phase System though, so may be doing some actual writing in it when the time comes. Oops, I'll have to set that up first, but before that I'll need to know where the hell my story is going. Right now I only have the beginning and a few scenes in my head. Maybe will try to hit the index cards first and hope that spits out something worth using.

Oh, and just downloaded ScribeFire to use so will see how this works and if it will help me keep up with blogging more often. It's a Firefox add-on and puts an icon on the Status Bar. Kinda nifty, if it works well.

Here's to writing, the rest of this summer and tons more in November!

Another NaNo Widget

Let's see how this works. Not sure it will show all 3 novels. Maybe once it updates?



Doesn't seem to be updating in real time. Will see if it updates around midnight or so, if I'm still up then.

NaNo 1 done; NaNo 2 started

NaNo novel made it to the 50K mark. I almost think this could be split about in half and made into two novels. Switched FMC a bit over halfway through and the plot changed somewhat, but all the characters stayed in and had parts to play. Choppy? Yes. Very. Will need to think on it later. For now I'm starting a new one.

Shadows and Dust is the working title of the new one. Plot bunny jumped up and bit me in the ass yesterday afternoon. Oh yeah, so it was What if? this and What if that? What? Generation ship? Ack! Okay, most of them are dead and only a few left alive. Those few still alive? The oldest one will probably be 19. Know how to run the ship? Nope. Know some things, but will be learning as they go, I guess. I hope they learn, because I know nothing about it.

I think I'm going to ignore TV tonight and try to get some more writing in. And if my computer keeps acting up I may toss it out the window! Not planning on writing on the damn thing but will be using the laptop and it better behave itself. Did nothing but fight with both of them yesterday. Both were cleaned just before November and the desktop twice again now. Laptop has had one more this month.

Oh, and have found a great program to write in. Q10. Full screen, which is nice, but Open Office does that too. What I really love is the word counter. It counts as you are typing. And also has a timer you can set, so it's nice to use for word wars with others or just by yourself. Can change the background color and the font color. Make it sound like a typewriter, which I didn't think I'd like but it's not bad. I felt like I was able to produce more words yesterday by being able to see my word count in real time. Might be a distraction to some but works for me.

Okay, the kids are starting to wake up. Um, that would be the kids on the ship. Guess I'd better get them all up and moving so they can start learning all those new things. Whoo! Let the complaining begin! I just know they will.

Widget

Now this is neat. NaNo widgets



Oh, yeah, I chucked the novel I was planning to do and went with one I have almost absolutely nothing on, other than in my head. Some character names, a short paragraph on them, which most have been changed as I write.

NaNo words wars have helped me bring the word count up to where it is now. Strange, because I've only done a couple of days worth of word wars. I really, really need to begin my writing earlier in the day and keep going with it to get to that, sometimes elusive, 50,000. I do if I want to still try doing 3 of these again this year. One isn't too far behind and would be easy to bring up to speed, but the 3rd one is sitting so far back on word count right now all you can see is dust.

I'd love to get some 10K days in. Managed 2 of those last year and one 11K. About three days of those and this one would be finished. Well, maybe not as far as "The End" but at least to 50K, then I could move on to one of the others. The second would be easy to bring up to the count it needs to be and then if I could do the same with the third one, then I'd only need to write 2,000 for each one per day. Very doable for me since I've been getting at least 5K a day on the one shown in the widget above.

15min word wars works for me. My average comes out to about 500 words each time, give or take, so 4 words wars and, boom! I've got my 2K written.

And that means I need to get my butt in gear and go do some of those, eat lunch, then jump right back into them today.

Here, There, Where?

Interesting posts over at the NaNo site. Have to say too many make me shake my head. I didn't list Vor'Talthat: The Beginning under Young Adult and I guess that's a good thing, even though my group of characters range from around 14 to 19 year olds. Only teens/young adults read YA? Not from all that I've heard. Lots and lots of adults read it and say it's because it's written better than many adult books. I guess mine will stay under SF since it takes place on another planet, and the characters all come from different planets. So that's as close as I can get to a genre right now.

Fantasy. If you write fantasy it must be High Fantasy? Um, no. Just no. There are different kinds of fantasy and not all fall into that slot. Sorry.

And, don't worry about where your novel fits? Wait until you've written it, then decide? Okay, while not bad advise in and of itself, at the NaNo site there are different categories/genres to choose from, so if it doesn't matter then why have any of them listed to check? Certainly nothing wrong with changing it later, but it does feel nice to be able to label it in some way. Yes?

Why are people always asking, "What genre am I?" So they can hook up with whichever forum they can talk about what they're doing. Ask questions of others who are writing pretty much/sort of in the same genre. That's why. To me, anyway. They post in one forum, then it's suggested they might get better answers in "this" one or "that" one. Just seems like a lot of contradictory answers flying around. Or, maybe it's just me. ::shrug:: And, maybe that's why I don't seem to post much there. ::another shrug::

Morning rambling here and haven't had breakfast yet. ::must go do that!::

Outlining for NaNo

I do love Open Office. Set my background to all black, seems easier on my eyes. Font, whatever color is easy for me to look at, too, and some days it changes. White feels a bit too stark to me, a more cream color is nice, although it claims to be a light yellow. And I've been playing with tables, which I think is helping more to set things up and not get lost. Yeah, I do get lost going around the block. ::grin::

So, I have one set up with two (2) columns and maybe something like one hundred (100) rows. Sounds like a lot but I may end up adding more. Right now I've only used 25, but with expansion. Which means I have 25 one sentence for a scene, the below that I expand that scene. Only 8 scenes expanded so far, so I really, really need to get cracking!

I also have some tables, on another page, set one at a time, and I can do a bit of rambling on what I want.

The visual is what I'm liking too with the tables. I can make them pretty. LOL Use colors for the borders and it's more pleasing to the eye. Mine anyway.

On another one I'd like to do for NaNo, I have my tables set up a bit different. Three columns, but not sure how many rows, will need to pull that one up again and check it. Since I might switch POV there I have the character's name in the first column, a sentence or two next to that and then an expansion of those sentence(s) next.

One problem I've come across is sending them from the laptop to the desktop loses the formatting. Might be a way to save and keep it, just haven't looked into that yet.

Yikes, the days are counting down and I have so much to get set up in my outlines! Especially, if I'm going to get from "The Beginning" to "The End" this year, which is the goal for this time around. I won't beat myself up if I don't make that, but it would be nice.

NaNo

It's that time once again. Had to borrow the neighbor's leaf blower to get all the cobwebs out of this blog.

This year I planned on writing a fantasy for NaNo, but changed my mind and am now in the midst of working out something in the YA category. Okay, so I've not gotten very far yet and I'm a sluggard. But, I do have 8 characters lined up. Well, 8 that range from 13 to 19, plus 2 adults at the moment. All but one of the 8 have a psi power, and am stumped to find one for the last player in this group.

Genre is sorta SF-ish, in that it takes place on another world, had nothing to do with Earth or anyone from here. Of course I have no plot, or anything written out yet, and I so need to do that or I'll most likely get stuck early on and not go anywhere with it. At this point I'm desperate enough to try some free writing and see where it takes me. But! I do know the begining and the end! Whooo! Ending could possibly be a set up for another in this world, something I've always wanted to do. That, and write a YA.

Anywho, I do have a title, and a banner with all 8 characters on it.

Vor'Talthat: The Beginning

Now to figure out what's in store for these characters. All I do know is there will be 2 deaths, 1 betrayal, learning to trust and learning to love.

Oh, yeah, and there's all that world building I should do, too. Bad enough that "plot" escapes me most of the time, now I have to build a world. Me thinks someone really, really needs to get their butt in gear, and it isn't the cat either. And why, oh why, did I decide to do these many characters? I started out thinking 7 or maybe 5, yeah, 5 definitely would have been easier and now I'm up to 8 of them. This better be it for the group, as I'll still need some other characters in this story.

::bangs head::

Yesterday's words

Not anywhere near what I hoped for. 490 sad, sad word count. I seem to be having a problem with the story right now. I know where it's going, but yesterday's writing felt really bogged down and not moving the story forward. I had to hunt for my index cards with notes jotted down and, yay! I found them. At least the hunt didn't take me long. I also knew there was one scene that I forgot to put in, so maybe I just need to write that and stick it where it belongs. Who knows, maybe it will turn into more than one scene. I guess I can dream. After that I don't know, unless I just write gibberish until I hit The End.

Played a little bit in Google Docs and found you can make folders. So I did just that and 'lo and behold, while checking what all I had I found something I had I don't remember writing. Okay, all I have is:

A title, but I really, really like it.
Characters: 5 maybe or 4?
Main character: male or female?
Genre: SF or F?
Setting: Other planet or Alternate Universe or Futuristic?

Yeah, I know, not much, but maybe a start. I could possible look into some of my older stuff and use some characters that never went anywhere. Not yet, though. I have enough to get finished before November.

And once again I've frittered most of the day away already. Time to get busy and get something accomplished. If I'm lucky maybe I'll get more words in today or tonight.

No writing/New idea

No writing tonight. Since I broke my glasses I feel tired all the time and there's no way to fix them. So I took the night off. Hopefully sometime within the next week I can get new ones. It's not like I don't need a new prescription anyway.

I did get an idea for something to write in November, though. Jotted some things down. I have 4 characters ::5 if you count the fire entity:: and their basic descriptions: age, hair color, eye color. The main character has a younger sister, which for some reason I wasn't surprised, but when a younger brother popped up out of nowhere, well, that startled me. I mean, where the hell did he come from? Good thing I was sitting on the couch or I might have fell over. Perceptive little thing he is too. I almost know more about him at this point than any of the others. There's also a guy who is a couple of years older than the main character. Is there romance in the air? :Sniff Sniff:: Maybe. Good element for conflict.

This will be a Young Adult, something I've wanted to write for a long time but just never had a good idea for one. I'm really hoping this one takes. So, a YA paranormal. I'm still trying to figure out if and how thriller might be attached to that. YA Paranormal Thriller is something I've been hearing about, but still need to connect the P and T together. I mean, wouldn't paranormal be enough by itself? Thrillers stand alone just fine without falling down. Guess I need to do some more digging around to find out how to connect those two dots.

I'll be doing lots of digging anyway for this to come up with enough meat to see it through and make it a full story.

I still want to get Treasure Trove finished, and after that Shattered Souls. Those two are from NaNo last year so I need to see The End within the next couple or so months on both.