Changes

Changing ones life is not all that easy.  I feel I've been stuck in certain places (all of my own making) but would really love to get out and move on once more.  I haven't been working on any crafts, cross stitch in particular, nor have I been writing or reading.  I do love all of these and yet I seem to have a hard time getting back to them.  After three years one would think I would still be stuck in a rut here, but I am.  I know this is only March, and we have April to get through, but then comes May and that's not an easy one for me.  I keep feeling it's going to jump up at me rather soon.  I deal, as always, with anything I get hit with in life, but losing a spouse seems to be something beyond the realm of understanding.  Every day I feel the lose, still.  Every day still has its hard moments of reality.  All too often anymore I seem to find things, games mainly, to play to allow myself to leave the world of reality behind.  Makes the days go faster I guess.

Problem with time moving faster if I don't have to think about the emptiness is that I truly don't accomplish anything and I'm getting to the point of feeling that too.  I want to accomplish some things, to say to myself, see I can do that and finish it and then sit back and enjoy the finished product.  Hell, I can't even do my blogs on a regular basis.  Sad, sad, sad.  But I never feel like I'm moping, just sliding through life with nothing to show for my time here.

Time to pull the bootstraps up and get back to the stuff I love to do.